Parable of the Knee, Glimpse #2

Well, I had a week off and now I'm a couple of days late this week. What does that say about my reliability? It says that I'm not perfect. Isn't that a wonderful thing to recognize. Being less than perfect means that I'm not capable of satisfying God's requirement for the blood of a perfect lamb to be shed for the forgiveness of sin. Hebrews 9:22 There's no sense forcing myself through hoops in an attempt to accomplish that task because I'm simply not able to meet the standard. What a relief!

And yet the price must be paid for my sin before I can come into the presence of the One True and Holy God. Thank you, Father, for having that problem solved way before I ever saw the need. Christ, God's only Son, gave Himself as the sacrificial Lamb whose perfect blood atones for the sin of the world. The Messiah's willingness to yield to the Father's plan of reconciliation on a day and time in history resulted in redemption for my soul. What a glorious truth to embrace!

This week's Glimpse is about what God is showing me as I look back on the eight - 8 - VIII - count them XXXXXXXX - months I limped and struggled along before seeking medical attention for my injured knee. Yes, my mobility was seriously impaired and there was a fair amount of pain involved, but my condition was up and down. I kept going because I thought (read that word 'hoped') the knee was getting better. After all, the body heals itself if you give it a rest, right? Okay, so limping but carrying on a busy schedule isn't exactly resting, but at least I was moving more slowly. It was pretty bad the week of our family retreat, but it didn't hurt at all when I was skiing. :-)

As I look back I realize that even though I was going about my normal routine, my performance wasn't up to par. Frankly, I was off-balance everywhere I went and in every aspect of my life. I couldn't move with confidence because I was never sure if the knee would give out or if the pain would become too severe to continue. I couldn't trust the knee, my mobility, so I was never sure that I might not collapse. Yes, it took an emotional toll as well.

The comparison with my spiritual life is obvious. When I'm off-balance, not centered on God and His plan for my day, I can't move with confidence. When I rely on myself alone, I can't be sure if my own abilities will give out or the burden and stress will become too severe to continue. I can't trust my imperfect strengths, my abilities, so I can never be sure that I might not collapse. Yes, it took an emotional toll as well.

I did go about serving the Lord in this off-balanced way, but inconsistency and insecurity opened the door wide for, shall we say, unpleasant surprises. I know that my patience with myself suffered, so I have to assume that my treatment of others wasn't so good either. Looking back I am thankful that I know that God works all things together for good for those who love Him. Romans 8:28 I just wish I didn't contribute quite so many low performance days to the mix. As I look out over the lake and consider the changes I want to make, I've come to some conclusions:

• I'm neither comfortable nor content living off-balance, especially spiritually.
• I need/want my life to be built on who God is.
• The more I learn about God from God, the more secure I am in God.
• Though things happen that I may be unaware of or unprepared for, when I rest in God I walk into and through them with confidence. John 15
• My heavenly Father's arms are wide and inviting, loving and all-sufficient.

Thank you, God, that though I am imperfect You appointed the Perfect Lamb to make the way for me to be with You today and for all eternity. John 3:16
Amen. Emmanuel