The best and most exciting part of this point of the saga is that the diagnosis came within one week from finally getting an appointment. God had moved in miraculous ways through the medical community to bring me to this position. I was elated. Curt came with me as we went to hear the verdict about this annoying health problem. I'd put it off for a long time. Then when I knew I needed help it took some time for me to find the way. Now I was on the verge of getting the information I needed to take the steps to get my knee back to the way it was before the injury.
Dr. M came into the room and greeted us. He took the MRI films and put them on the light box. We were not surprised by the usual hemming and hawing we heard as he considered the images in detail. The good news came first, "Well, you have good strong bones. Just a little bit of wear that's normal for your age." (I wasn't exactly sure what that meant.) Still no surprises there. He looked a bit longer then flopped down onto his stool with a sigh. He blurted out the bad news, "This is the worst possible scenario." I was shocked as I stammered, "What do you mean?"
"See these little dark patches here? They show that your meniscus, the little pad on the inside of your knee that sits between the lower and upper leg bones, is completely deteriorated at the center." Again I stammered, "Isn't there anything we can do about it?" "No, if it were torn or something I could operate and repair it. I can't do anything with this. The center of the meniscus has no blood vessels. It can't heal itself and I can't fix it." The absolute finality in his voice was obvious, but I'm no quitter.
"There must be something we can do," I pleaded.
"No, not really. There isn't anything anybody can do," Dr. M reiterated.
It appeared that my life as I knew it was ending. I wasn't about to just walk out the door and settle for this "worst possible scenario" without a fight. "Would it help if I exercise?" I needed to know if there was anything I might be able to contribute that would improve my situation. Dr. M wasn't about to be baited into any type of real hope. He made a tentative offering, "Well, I suppose you could strengthen the surrounding area somewhat. Just take a sock and put a couple of soup cans in it. Hang it over your ankle and use it like lifting weights."
I really wanted some details, "Do you have any kind of information I could read or directions I could follow?" He took a couple of minutes to shuffle through folders on the counter. He handed me a sheet with drawings on it with a face full of hopelessness. It seemed that he was already preparing to meet his next patient. I still wasn't grasping the full impact of what he'd told me.
"What does this mean about my future?" I needed to know what the medical establishment was giving me for a lifestyle. He was happy to share his prognosis, "Oh, you'll be able to get around and when it finally tears or shatters you can come back and I'll repair it for you." My life as I'd known it passed before my eyes. It felt the way people who've had near-death experiences express it. I followed Curt out past the receptionist and to the car. I'm not sure I even said good-bye to anybody. I think I held my breath for about a mile down the road. I was having trouble processing what just took place.
First, I tried to get a hold of the dramatic turn of events and my reaction to it. I'd gone into the appointment figuring surgery of some type would be recommended. I would not be happy about the pain and recovery time, but it would be worth it to correct the problem. That hadn't happened at all. I'd been released from the need to set aside a hospital date, change my schedule for the recuperation period and actually go through the pain and discomfort. That was a good thing, right? So why was I so disturbed? What a fickle people we humans are.
My next round of thoughts followed this path: Okay, my meniscus is rotten at the core and there isn't anything I can do about it. It can't heal itself because it doesn't have the potential to do so. This one little part of me has massive influence on my entire life.
I was left with no hope for my future, either short or long term. I began crossing things off my list: enjoying days off with my husband, skiing with my grandchildren, walking with a friend, working in my yard, sightseeing, etc., etc., etc. It began to feel as if I had no real life left and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Hopelessness overwhelmed me. I thank God that He never leaves me in that place!
I turned my situation over in my mind. Fresh insights began to flow into me. Many of the aspects of the diagnosis took on fresh meaning. The meniscus was rotten at the core, just as my soul had been dead in sin. My meniscus was not able to restore itself, just as I was not able to heal myself from my sinful position before a holy God. There wasn't anything I could do to even contribute to my healing, just as my redemption from sin was solely up to God. Dr. M couldn't do anything to help me, just as Mankind couldn't do anything to heal my relationship with my Father. The problem I had with one little part of my body was affecting my entire life, just as the one "little" problem of sin had kept me from the abundant life. Though the Lord didn't give me relief immediately, He began to use the loss and discouragement to teach me.
A smile did not come over my face, but I was thankful to come before my Savior and Lord - to thank Him for His healing blood that cleansed me from all unrighteousness, to sit in His presence in this newly recognized "laboratory" where He wanted to teach me about Himself and His love for me, and so much more. The circumstances did not evaporate, but the knowledge that I was and am the chosen child of the loving, triune God was more than enough to keep me. And oh, the glorious things the Master has and is showing me in this ongoing parable.
The report doesn't end here. I admit that I spent a fair amount of time in the Pit of Despair. Being a regular human being who lives in a fallen world there were plenty of reminders of what I'd lost and how dear it was to me. My own powerlessness would sweep over me from time to time as well. There were days when the spiritual battle was biting and bitter. I can't tell you that I've been the bravest or most skilled member of God's army through it all. I can tell you that there are many twists and turns yet to share with you. I can also tell you that God has never waivered. His faithfulness has carried me along day-by-day, step-by-step, and moment-by-moment. Maybe I should have titled this the Love Story of the Knee. :-)
Okay, I'll give you a hint about the upcoming Glimpses. Curt and I have bought passes for the upcoming ski season. I've also purchased a lovely lady's cane. I trust those two pieces will keep you coming back to discover more of what the Lord is revealing to me through this Parable of the Knee. No, slowing down was definitely not the lesson God had for me. It is so much richer!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Interruption Glimpse
I'm doing my best to be faithful to the Parable of the Knee saga. It was and is an amazing journey learning about the Lord in this particular health issue. The problem is that God is not limited to only one area of my life, nor is He limited in time or space. That means that while I'm trying to relate the glimpses He's giving me of who He is and how He works in the lives of His people from my knee experience, God continues to open other areas of my life and offer me glimpses into His loving presence and wonderful ways.
I've been thinking about using the term Interruption Glimpse for these little asides that appear to be cropping up. In one way I don't like it because it implies a disruption of the normal flow of things. That has a negative aspect to it that I'd like to avoid. On the other hand, when God shows Himself in a powerful way it certainly is an interruption to the daily routine. When the angel came to tell Mary that she was going to have a baby, it could easily have been seen as an interruption in her day. My paperback dictionary says that "to interrupt" means "to break in upon an action."
Well, I want God to break in upon the actions I witness in this fallen world. I praise and thank Him for the times He shows Himself in such a way that it stands out in mighty contrast to the confusion and insanity that goes on around me. Every tiny peek He brings to my attention catches me up and reminds me that He is there and this is not all there is. Hallelujah!
Oh, how I long for the day when I will be able to set my eyes on the Lord to such a degree that the things of this life would become the interruptions. I want to be so close to my Father that it is His perspective that I see as I make my way through my days.
Back to the Glimpse:
Last night at Ladies Bible study we were treated to a visual representation of the call God places on our lives and a glimpse of the way He uses us. It wasn't a complicated process yet I'm not sure any of us who were there were able to grasp the full extent of what He showed us.
First the main business of the meeting was completed; offering the welcome, making some announcements, passing out the books, and reviewing the guidelines. Then a brief outline of the truths found in Matthew 5:14-16 was given. When the speaker turned out the lights, the ladies began to wonder, but when the candle in the center of the table was blown out they were on high alert. What was going on?
The speaker pointed out that the late-September night that invaded the room was a good example of the darkness of the world in which those outside of Christ must live. Without God there is no true light. As everyone's eyes adjusted to the dark it was noted that there was a bit of light shining in one corner. The speaker had carefully set a light source in an adjoining room with a small window in its door. The source of the light was out of sight though so none of the ladies could figure out any of the details about it - where it was exactly, what type of light it was, what it looked like, etc. The ladies were thankful that the room wasn't pitch black, but they were encouraged to stay in their seats because the light was insufficient to allow them to move around safely. This scenario was a good example of a question that is often asked, "How do people without the Lord make their way in this world?"
The speaker then went over and opened the door to the adjoining room. The light was more obvious at this point and the ladies were able to make some observations. They decided that the source couldn't have a shade on it because its rays were quite glaring. They could tell it was set in the corner because they still couldn't see it directly. But they were still unable to figure out the rest of the details about where it was exactly, what type of light it was, what it looked like, etc. The ladies were able to relax a bit with the increased light. They could make out the general layout of the room and the people in it. However, it was still too dark to move around easily or even clearly see each other's faces. It was certainly too dark to be able to read or do any detail work. This setting was a good example of so many people's lives who stumble around in the darkness. They have some sense of what's out there, but cannot make their way because they can't make out the details.
Finally, the speaker took a mirror and held it in such a way that the rays from the light source were directed at the ladies gathered at the table. Though it took their eyes a minute to adjust to so much light in the darkness, they were finally able to describe its source. The small wrought iron electric lamp was sitting on a child-size blue chair. It had a regular shaped bulb but no lampshade. They could not see the lamp directly, but were able to discern these truths because of the reflection provided by the mirror. The mirror also provided sufficient light for the ladies to clearly see each other's faces. Those who were in the direct line of the reflection could easily have gotten up and moved safely toward the speaker who held the mirror. Oh, what a wonderful example of the way God reveals Himself to us and the power and confidence we have to share Him with others.
The Scriptures are filled with references to God being the source of light, among them 1 John 1:5. As Creator, God spoke and the heavenly lights came into being, Genesis 1:3. Psalm 27:1 tells us, "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?" Jesus, His one and only Son, declares in John 8:12, "I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
God made Man in His image, therefore we are able to reflect His image of light. As long as we remain in our sin that imageness is tarnished and the reflection is fatally flawed. When we come to God in humility, asking forgiveness, He applies the blood of His Son to clear our debt. God clothes us in the breastplate of the righteousness of Christ, a reflecting surface . Just as the mirror in the demonstration was able to bring details of the source of light to the ladies in the adjoining room, so those clothed in Christ's righteouenss are able to bring details of who God is and how He cares for His people to those living in darkness. As we bask in His presence we are more able to reflect the true Light of life.
Let me quickly add a couple of observations here about the mirror in this demonstration.
I'm sure as you ponder the various aspects of this demonstration the Holy Spirit will show you a number of other truths represented here. Feel free to share them with me for my edification and/or the edification of others.
I've been thinking about using the term Interruption Glimpse for these little asides that appear to be cropping up. In one way I don't like it because it implies a disruption of the normal flow of things. That has a negative aspect to it that I'd like to avoid. On the other hand, when God shows Himself in a powerful way it certainly is an interruption to the daily routine. When the angel came to tell Mary that she was going to have a baby, it could easily have been seen as an interruption in her day. My paperback dictionary says that "to interrupt" means "to break in upon an action."
Well, I want God to break in upon the actions I witness in this fallen world. I praise and thank Him for the times He shows Himself in such a way that it stands out in mighty contrast to the confusion and insanity that goes on around me. Every tiny peek He brings to my attention catches me up and reminds me that He is there and this is not all there is. Hallelujah!
Oh, how I long for the day when I will be able to set my eyes on the Lord to such a degree that the things of this life would become the interruptions. I want to be so close to my Father that it is His perspective that I see as I make my way through my days.
Back to the Glimpse:
Last night at Ladies Bible study we were treated to a visual representation of the call God places on our lives and a glimpse of the way He uses us. It wasn't a complicated process yet I'm not sure any of us who were there were able to grasp the full extent of what He showed us.
First the main business of the meeting was completed; offering the welcome, making some announcements, passing out the books, and reviewing the guidelines. Then a brief outline of the truths found in Matthew 5:14-16 was given. When the speaker turned out the lights, the ladies began to wonder, but when the candle in the center of the table was blown out they were on high alert. What was going on?
The speaker pointed out that the late-September night that invaded the room was a good example of the darkness of the world in which those outside of Christ must live. Without God there is no true light. As everyone's eyes adjusted to the dark it was noted that there was a bit of light shining in one corner. The speaker had carefully set a light source in an adjoining room with a small window in its door. The source of the light was out of sight though so none of the ladies could figure out any of the details about it - where it was exactly, what type of light it was, what it looked like, etc. The ladies were thankful that the room wasn't pitch black, but they were encouraged to stay in their seats because the light was insufficient to allow them to move around safely. This scenario was a good example of a question that is often asked, "How do people without the Lord make their way in this world?"
The speaker then went over and opened the door to the adjoining room. The light was more obvious at this point and the ladies were able to make some observations. They decided that the source couldn't have a shade on it because its rays were quite glaring. They could tell it was set in the corner because they still couldn't see it directly. But they were still unable to figure out the rest of the details about where it was exactly, what type of light it was, what it looked like, etc. The ladies were able to relax a bit with the increased light. They could make out the general layout of the room and the people in it. However, it was still too dark to move around easily or even clearly see each other's faces. It was certainly too dark to be able to read or do any detail work. This setting was a good example of so many people's lives who stumble around in the darkness. They have some sense of what's out there, but cannot make their way because they can't make out the details.
Finally, the speaker took a mirror and held it in such a way that the rays from the light source were directed at the ladies gathered at the table. Though it took their eyes a minute to adjust to so much light in the darkness, they were finally able to describe its source. The small wrought iron electric lamp was sitting on a child-size blue chair. It had a regular shaped bulb but no lampshade. They could not see the lamp directly, but were able to discern these truths because of the reflection provided by the mirror. The mirror also provided sufficient light for the ladies to clearly see each other's faces. Those who were in the direct line of the reflection could easily have gotten up and moved safely toward the speaker who held the mirror. Oh, what a wonderful example of the way God reveals Himself to us and the power and confidence we have to share Him with others.
The Scriptures are filled with references to God being the source of light, among them 1 John 1:5. As Creator, God spoke and the heavenly lights came into being, Genesis 1:3. Psalm 27:1 tells us, "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?" Jesus, His one and only Son, declares in John 8:12, "I am the Light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
God made Man in His image, therefore we are able to reflect His image of light. As long as we remain in our sin that imageness is tarnished and the reflection is fatally flawed. When we come to God in humility, asking forgiveness, He applies the blood of His Son to clear our debt. God clothes us in the breastplate of the righteousness of Christ, a reflecting surface . Just as the mirror in the demonstration was able to bring details of the source of light to the ladies in the adjoining room, so those clothed in Christ's righteouenss are able to bring details of who God is and how He cares for His people to those living in darkness. As we bask in His presence we are more able to reflect the true Light of life.
Let me quickly add a couple of observations here about the mirror in this demonstration.
- The mirror on its own was just a piece of glass with fancy backing. It had to be in the presence of the light source to be useful.
- The mirror had no value by itself. Its basic use and purpose was to simply re-direct the light energy from its source.
- The mirror couldn't position itself to be effective. The speaker had to set the mirror at the proper angle to send the reflecting rays into the dark room.
- Although the lamp was sufficient to light up the whole room, the mirror was not able to reflect enough light to illuminate the entire room where the ladies were gathered. The mirror provided information about the lamp, but the ladies needed the lamp itself to be able to function fully.
I'm sure as you ponder the various aspects of this demonstration the Holy Spirit will show you a number of other truths represented here. Feel free to share them with me for my edification and/or the edification of others.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Parable of the Knee, Glimpse #4
It’s been an amazing week with God. He’s pouring out so much from His Word that I feel as if a fire hose has been directed at me. The analogy breaks down a bit though because the stream isn’t hard-hitting or damaging. It’s just full on, powerful and totally drenching. I simply can’t take in all that He’s showing me.
As a matter of fact, the problem is becoming so severe that I’m beginning to think that I may need to post more than once a week. Maybe I need to continue on with the Parable once a week and post one of my new lessons once a week. At least then I might have a hope of keeping up and keeping things straight.
Right now I want to take the next step in the process of addressing the weakness and pain in my knee. Having decided that the list of negative consequences was long enough to warrant serious attention, I turned my focus to seeking medical care. I’ll try to make this phase much shorter, sweeter and easier for you than it was for me.
I had decided a couple of years earlier that I needed to find a new primary care physician, but Maine being Maine I spent several days over several months to no avail. That meant that I had to start with the Nurse Practitioner whom I had been seeing. After a brief chat she assured me that the problem was not related to the bone. She informed me that since it had to do with soft tissue she would like me to see an orthopedist. Since the orthopedist would need to read any MRI films she let me know that it wouldn’t do any good to schedule such tests at this point. She then left the room to get me the contact information for a couple of orthopedists she recommended.
Curt was with me during the “examination” and we commented about her wizardry with diagnoses since she hadn’t even touched my knee but could rule out any bone problems – not to mention that she had immediately nixed the need for any x-rays. And all within about 15 minutes. Even though we were in awe of her expertise [a little sarcasm there], being the cynics we are, we affected a measured response. I graciously received the referral information, but assured her that I would contact the physicians directly and didn’t need the assistance of her office. We wanted to move our medical care to another hospital’s area of service anyway. So took this as a final stepping off place.
The next day I spent over two hours on the phone with our insurance carrier trying to find a physician, either a primary care or an orthopedist. May God bless the office person who carefully went through name after name to find someone within the proper geographic area who was covered by our plan. I ended up with two names to pursue that led me to make appointments with both an orthopedist and a primary care physician. The orthopedist appointment happened much sooner than the primary care, but that was fine with me.
Dr. M chatted with me about the original injury. He seemed a bit surprised that the Nurse Practitioner hadn’t ordered x-rays yet was able to diagnose that the problem didn’t have anything to do with the bones. [Curt and I shared a knowing look.] He examined my knee quite extensively and then, not to our surprise, ordered some x-rays. Evidently they do have a purpose in the world of medical diagnosis. Since there is an x-ray tech on site, the pictures were taken and we waited for the results.
Dr. M came back in and pushed the x-rays under the clip on the lighted board. He inspected them closely and said that the only problem appeared to be a bit of “wearing” on the inside surfaces of the __________ - you know, the knee bones. J I guess that was in order for someone “of my age.” Since bone problems were definitely ruled out, Dr. M let us know that it was most definitely a soft tissue problem and probably something to do with the meniscus. That’s the padding between the _______ upper leg bone and the _______ lower leg bone. He directed me to have an MRI done to confirm his suspicions.
Frankly, I began to wonder if I was going to have to wait another couple of months to get one of those special procedures scheduled. I know how much the MRI machines are in demand. Thankfully, the new hospital is quite efficient and my knee would be able to be photographed three days later. I am so thankful that God has given me a flexible schedule!
The staff at the hospital was wonderful. I was able to bring my own CD to listen to during the procedure. I chose Carry Away by Shane & Shane and it truly did carry me away. The noisy clunking and buzzing was over before I knew it. If anything, it reminded me of a dryer with a dozen pairs of sneakers bouncing around in it. It wasn’t too bad, but I was glad when it was finished. Now that I’d done my part, I was looking forward to Dr. M's report. From the first orthopedist appointment until the final diagnosis was only going to be one week. I was pleased!
As I report on this phase of the process through which God was bringing me, I can see the repetition of so many situations in my life, maybe even life itself. I’m faced with a nagging problem and I choose to disregard it and continue on with what’s in front of me. I make adjustments and think everything is fine while the underlying problem continues to have its far-reaching affect. This process carries on until I can no longer ignore the buried issue. Then everything else stops while I finally address it.
I’m sure you’re right beside me in realizing that if I’d just taken the knee seriously at the beginning I would have avoided a lot of things. I would have saved myself a lot of distress, inconvenience, pain, etc. I’ll go a step further and admit that everybody around me would have been spared a bunch of disruption as well. [Sorry, guys!] Who knows what other effects I’m unaware of that would not have occurred if I hadn’t tried so hard to sidestep the obvious. [pun intended]
Suddenly I’m reminded of my life before Christ. No, I’m not that old. I was born in the A.D. calendar not B.C. :-) I mean the time before I came to recognize and receive the gift of eternal life Christ offered me through His sinless life, crucifixion, death and resurrection. There was a nagging problem in my life that kept me off-balance and in pain. I was in distress and I knew it. I wasn’t able to function properly and it was obvious to me. Yet, I chose to disregard it and continue on with what was in front of me. I made adjustments and acted as if everything was fine while the underlying problem continued to have its far-reaching affect. This process carried on until I could no longer ignore the buried issue.
On that great day in 1972 I put a halt to the hiding, the avoiding, the ignoring. I called out to God to end my weakness and pain. The sin in my life was overwhelming before this Holy God. I confessed it and felt the sweet relief of the truth found in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Looking back over the time leading up to my conversion, I’ve come to realize that just as with the process of seeking medical care for my knee, God was leading me all along the way.
God allowed and even caused the weakness and pain and its affects on my life. He used everything at His disposal to draw me unto Himself. Just as He took me slowly, purposefully through the justification process, He is leading me through the various, less-than-perfect situations in my life. He does what He needs to in order to get my attention and He takes me where I need to go, to be. The glory of it all is that no matter how painful or endless or hopeless it all looks, God is right beside me working it all out for my benefit. Romans 8:28 Oh, I am so thankful!
So what was the final diagnosis, you're wondering. Well, I’m not ready to divulge that information. There are still a number of chapters to go in this parable and I don’t want to rush ahead. Please do check in again to find out what Dr. M had to say about my MRI. Until then, may God bless you with your own glimpses of who He is and how much He loves you.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Interruption Glimpse
I know I'm in the process of sharing my Parable of the Knee, but God gave me a glimpse of who He is this week that I can't keep to myself. That's why this is called an Interruption Glimpse.
A friend gave birth to a baby girl and I called to congratulate her. In the process of sharing her experience she mentioned that the Lord had drawn her to read Psalm 18 during the delivery. When the phases came when she wasn't able to read it herself, she had her husband read the God-breathed message to her. With a recommendation like that, as soon as I hung up the phone I pulled out my Bible and turned to this precious portion of Scripture.
The first thing I noticed is that this psalm is a song that David sang when the Lord delivered him from the hand of his enemies and specifically from the hand of Saul. I like to get an idea of the setting and/or background of what I'm going to read so that was helpful. I read my way down through the verses alternately overwhelmed by the greatness of God and my own unworthiness.
I've had a fairly standard walk as a Christian with plenty of struggles and opportunities to rely on God. Verses 16 and 17 spoke clearly to the way the Lord rescues His people from deep waters, powerful enemies, and strong foes. I affirmed the Lord's provision of support in the face of confrontation as outlined in verse 18. The imagery was flowing along as expected until I came to verse 19, He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
The word delighted jumped me out and stopped me cold. The word was familiar to me because a dear friend has been sharing her efforts at delighting in the Lord in the midst of life in a fallen world. It's not a word that I use a lot, but my friend and I have been considering Psalm 37:4, Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. This familiar verse directs the believer to delight in the Lord BUT Psalm 18 says that God is the one who does the delighting. It was a shocking surprise!
The basic concept made sense to me with what we know about God. God is the Creator and we are the creatures He made in His image. Scripture teaches that God is the definition of love. 1 John 4:16 We, as His workmanship, are able to love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19 The more we understand, rest in, and enjoy the love God has for us, the more we are able to share that love with those around us. It's not something that we need to stir up or work at or develop on our own.
I was reminded of the John 15 passage where Christ is described as the vine and His followers as the branches. The word remain is mentioned 10 times in the analogy. We are taught that branches that remain bear fruit. It doesn't say anything about stirring up, working at or developing anything. The branches need to remain which means "to continue to be as specified; to remain at peace." It's not a matter of effort, it's a matter of resting as is.
As I thought through verse 19 I realized that God's Word was telling me that the reason He rescued me is that He delights in me. What a light and pleasant way to consider God's thoughts and motivation toward me. Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary says that delight as a noun means a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; or rapture. As a verb delight means to give great pleasure, satisfaction or enjoyment; to please highly. The great God of the universe rescued me because He takes pleasure in me. God is satisfied with me. I bring God joy!
Once again God has opened up a whole new world to me. This time with one word. It is too much to take in! Tears flow unchecked.
I emailed my friend who is focusing on delighting in the Lord about what God was showing me. We talked about it on the phone. We're both trying to grasp all the Lord has for us in this glimpse.
The comparison with love is easy to make. God is Creator and we are His creatures made in His image. God delights in us. Therefore, we are able to delight. The more I soak up, understand, and revel in the truth that God Himself delights in Sandra, the more I will be able to delight in Him as He directs me in Psalm 37:4. Wow, it really is all about God.
I'm still sitting in the Lord's presence understanding, soaking up and reveling in this awesome truth. Why don't you consider the words of Psalm 18 yourself. My prayer is that you will be blessed with a similar awareness of how He delights in you. Amen Emmanuel
A friend gave birth to a baby girl and I called to congratulate her. In the process of sharing her experience she mentioned that the Lord had drawn her to read Psalm 18 during the delivery. When the phases came when she wasn't able to read it herself, she had her husband read the God-breathed message to her. With a recommendation like that, as soon as I hung up the phone I pulled out my Bible and turned to this precious portion of Scripture.
The first thing I noticed is that this psalm is a song that David sang when the Lord delivered him from the hand of his enemies and specifically from the hand of Saul. I like to get an idea of the setting and/or background of what I'm going to read so that was helpful. I read my way down through the verses alternately overwhelmed by the greatness of God and my own unworthiness.
I've had a fairly standard walk as a Christian with plenty of struggles and opportunities to rely on God. Verses 16 and 17 spoke clearly to the way the Lord rescues His people from deep waters, powerful enemies, and strong foes. I affirmed the Lord's provision of support in the face of confrontation as outlined in verse 18. The imagery was flowing along as expected until I came to verse 19, He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
The word delighted jumped me out and stopped me cold. The word was familiar to me because a dear friend has been sharing her efforts at delighting in the Lord in the midst of life in a fallen world. It's not a word that I use a lot, but my friend and I have been considering Psalm 37:4, Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. This familiar verse directs the believer to delight in the Lord BUT Psalm 18 says that God is the one who does the delighting. It was a shocking surprise!
The basic concept made sense to me with what we know about God. God is the Creator and we are the creatures He made in His image. Scripture teaches that God is the definition of love. 1 John 4:16 We, as His workmanship, are able to love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19 The more we understand, rest in, and enjoy the love God has for us, the more we are able to share that love with those around us. It's not something that we need to stir up or work at or develop on our own.
I was reminded of the John 15 passage where Christ is described as the vine and His followers as the branches. The word remain is mentioned 10 times in the analogy. We are taught that branches that remain bear fruit. It doesn't say anything about stirring up, working at or developing anything. The branches need to remain which means "to continue to be as specified; to remain at peace." It's not a matter of effort, it's a matter of resting as is.
As I thought through verse 19 I realized that God's Word was telling me that the reason He rescued me is that He delights in me. What a light and pleasant way to consider God's thoughts and motivation toward me. Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary says that delight as a noun means a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; or rapture. As a verb delight means to give great pleasure, satisfaction or enjoyment; to please highly. The great God of the universe rescued me because He takes pleasure in me. God is satisfied with me. I bring God joy!
Once again God has opened up a whole new world to me. This time with one word. It is too much to take in! Tears flow unchecked.
I emailed my friend who is focusing on delighting in the Lord about what God was showing me. We talked about it on the phone. We're both trying to grasp all the Lord has for us in this glimpse.
The comparison with love is easy to make. God is Creator and we are His creatures made in His image. God delights in us. Therefore, we are able to delight. The more I soak up, understand, and revel in the truth that God Himself delights in Sandra, the more I will be able to delight in Him as He directs me in Psalm 37:4. Wow, it really is all about God.
I'm still sitting in the Lord's presence understanding, soaking up and reveling in this awesome truth. Why don't you consider the words of Psalm 18 yourself. My prayer is that you will be blessed with a similar awareness of how He delights in you. Amen Emmanuel
Monday, September 3, 2007
Parable of the Knee, Glimpse #3
Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining and the temperature is just right. There's only one water skier on the lake so it's a pleasant afternoon. There's even a breeze. Who could ask for anything more?
It wasn't such a pleasant picture last May when I was looking ahead to a busy summer. We'd just gotten back from our conference in Bosnia which I'd thought was our last big responsibility. All of a sudden I started to realize that I had two events in June, a conference in Louisiana in July, and a set of seminars in August - on top of my regular activities. That might not sound like a lot, but I'd been thinking that I was going to have a break over the summer months.
Once the shock settled in, I realized that if I was going to be able to meet the responsibilities laid out for me I was going to have to be healthy. The members of the team we took with us to Sarajevo had practically carried me through that outreach. I needed to be honest with myself and get my knee problem corrected. The inconsistency of my physical performance was taking its toll on my life and the lives of those around me. I had to get the situation resolved.
Making the decision to see a doctor about an ongoing problem may not sound like a big deal to many people. For folks like me, it's a hard thing. Not only did I need to admit I had a problem that I needed help to solve, but I had to make time in my busy schedule for a doctor's appointment. Right there, the Lord spoke to me about my ideas of what's important and how precious this temple is that He's given me to house His Holy Spirit.
As I determined to go forward with addressing my knee problem, it dawned on me that Messiah was speaking to me again about my spiritual life. Yes, as mentioned in Glimpse #2, I need to be solidly centered on, completely consumed by God. Hallelujah! God draws me unto Himself and shows Himself to me for His own glory. What a treasure to learn that our relationship is not all one-sided!
God calls me to communicate with Him - not just my concerns for others, but the highest joys and deepest desires of my heart. My Father wants me to learn from and share myself with Him at every level. I thought about the inconsistent attention I'd been giving my knee and realized that my daily devotional time had been pretty inconsistent as well. This precious time alone with my Lord early in the morning is probably the closest time in our relationship. I'd allowed my hectic spring schedule to interfere and it looked like my no-to-quiet summer was threatening to do the same. I determined right then and there that I'd get back into my devotional routine.
My thoughts ran on ahead. 'Well, those times might be inconsistent, but at least I spend regular time studying in the Word.' Whoops, that was true in the spring, but our Bible study usually doesn't meet over the summer. Here was another area of inconsistency that was facing me. :-(
Maybe I'm not doing as well as I think sometimes.
One area I know I am consistent with is gathering together with other believers for worship. As a matter of fact, I am part of two groups that pray together before Sunday morning service. Phew, at least I'm not totally inconsistent. :-)
Sometimes I hear Christians talking about "God's part" and "my part" of doing things. I'm not really sure where or how one draws that kind of line. I just know that God loves me with a perfect love, even though He knows everything about me. He loved me from before the foundations of the world and will love me for all eternity. As a matter of fact, God is the very definition of love. 1 John 4:16 My ability to love at all is because He first loved me. 1 John 4:19
The first object of my God-given ability to love is God Himself. I love Him and offer my entire life to Him as a fitting sacrifice. Romans 12:1 His call on my life is to express my love for Him by obeying His commands. John 14:15 Maybe that's "my part." God also asks me to show my love for him by living in love and pouring it out on those around me. 1 John 4
Going through those basic standards for followers of Jesus reminds me how inconsistent I really am in my spiritual life. I had to face it with my knee, that I simply can't keep up with what's before me if I'm not healthy. I want to face it in my spiritual life as well, I simply can't keep up with what's before me if I'm not healthy.
Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the view from your perspective. My heart is the thing that's most important to you. I need and want to guard it consistently. Thank you, Father, that even this is your work. Zechariah 4:6
It wasn't such a pleasant picture last May when I was looking ahead to a busy summer. We'd just gotten back from our conference in Bosnia which I'd thought was our last big responsibility. All of a sudden I started to realize that I had two events in June, a conference in Louisiana in July, and a set of seminars in August - on top of my regular activities. That might not sound like a lot, but I'd been thinking that I was going to have a break over the summer months.
Once the shock settled in, I realized that if I was going to be able to meet the responsibilities laid out for me I was going to have to be healthy. The members of the team we took with us to Sarajevo had practically carried me through that outreach. I needed to be honest with myself and get my knee problem corrected. The inconsistency of my physical performance was taking its toll on my life and the lives of those around me. I had to get the situation resolved.
Making the decision to see a doctor about an ongoing problem may not sound like a big deal to many people. For folks like me, it's a hard thing. Not only did I need to admit I had a problem that I needed help to solve, but I had to make time in my busy schedule for a doctor's appointment. Right there, the Lord spoke to me about my ideas of what's important and how precious this temple is that He's given me to house His Holy Spirit.
As I determined to go forward with addressing my knee problem, it dawned on me that Messiah was speaking to me again about my spiritual life. Yes, as mentioned in Glimpse #2, I need to be solidly centered on, completely consumed by God. Hallelujah! God draws me unto Himself and shows Himself to me for His own glory. What a treasure to learn that our relationship is not all one-sided!
God calls me to communicate with Him - not just my concerns for others, but the highest joys and deepest desires of my heart. My Father wants me to learn from and share myself with Him at every level. I thought about the inconsistent attention I'd been giving my knee and realized that my daily devotional time had been pretty inconsistent as well. This precious time alone with my Lord early in the morning is probably the closest time in our relationship. I'd allowed my hectic spring schedule to interfere and it looked like my no-to-quiet summer was threatening to do the same. I determined right then and there that I'd get back into my devotional routine.
My thoughts ran on ahead. 'Well, those times might be inconsistent, but at least I spend regular time studying in the Word.' Whoops, that was true in the spring, but our Bible study usually doesn't meet over the summer. Here was another area of inconsistency that was facing me. :-(
Maybe I'm not doing as well as I think sometimes.
One area I know I am consistent with is gathering together with other believers for worship. As a matter of fact, I am part of two groups that pray together before Sunday morning service. Phew, at least I'm not totally inconsistent. :-)
Sometimes I hear Christians talking about "God's part" and "my part" of doing things. I'm not really sure where or how one draws that kind of line. I just know that God loves me with a perfect love, even though He knows everything about me. He loved me from before the foundations of the world and will love me for all eternity. As a matter of fact, God is the very definition of love. 1 John 4:16 My ability to love at all is because He first loved me. 1 John 4:19
The first object of my God-given ability to love is God Himself. I love Him and offer my entire life to Him as a fitting sacrifice. Romans 12:1 His call on my life is to express my love for Him by obeying His commands. John 14:15 Maybe that's "my part." God also asks me to show my love for him by living in love and pouring it out on those around me. 1 John 4
Going through those basic standards for followers of Jesus reminds me how inconsistent I really am in my spiritual life. I had to face it with my knee, that I simply can't keep up with what's before me if I'm not healthy. I want to face it in my spiritual life as well, I simply can't keep up with what's before me if I'm not healthy.
Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to catch a glimpse of the view from your perspective. My heart is the thing that's most important to you. I need and want to guard it consistently. Thank you, Father, that even this is your work. Zechariah 4:6
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