It's a chilly gray kind of day. I tossed and turned most of the night and got up late. We had to shorten our time over breakfast because we're both facing deadlines. I have an idea what I need to do, but the pressure makes focusing difficult.
These two types of days appear in some form our other in my life on a regular basis. I do my best by the Holy Spirit's infusing power and counsel to release myself to the Father's will. Then again, there's so much to do and I'm sure He wants me to be productive and efficient ... right?
I'm discovering these days that it's a lot easier to follow my natural Martha inclinations when facing my "routine" days. You know, the kinds I've outlined above. I can figure out how to get the most errands done with the least amount of time and effort. I'm good at keeping short- and long-term goals sorted out and moving forward to meet them. I'm able at pay attention to details while keeping the larger picture in focus. That's why it took me so long to get the message that God wanted me to step back from that role.
About a year ago my Father began to speak to me about some responsibilities He wanted me to release. They'd become pretty much a part of my Martha persona so, to be honest, it took some time for me to respond. In the end I chose to suspend my human understanding and follow where He led. It took months for me to realize that He was introducing me to Mary.
Now I have to tell you that I've only had a nodding acquaintance with Mary in my xx years of life. She and I have met over broken bones and/or debilitating illnesses - not the kind of scenarios one wants to repeat. Nevertheless, my Savior and Lord was directing me to not only get to know her but to nourish her character in my life.
It was slow going at first. A combination of personal habits, serious short-sightedness, and outside pressures threatened our infant relationship. What would happen if Martha slowed down? How would I exist if Mary took the lead? Would the world as I know it continue to turn?
Please don't take the dilemma nor those questions lightly. For a chronic (one might almost say compulsive, if they dared use that word around me) list maker and keeper, the paradigm shift was intense - almost impossible, except for Mark 10:27. The joy and freedom of resting at the Master's feet became part of my experience. Hallelujah!
Up 'til then it had been fairly comfortable to maintain my life within the confines of my former mindset. I understood the framework around me and my abilities to maneuver within it. Some days the number of pixels might be a bit low making the way ahead a bit unclear. But Martha was always at the ready to adjust, make a way, fix the picture.
The new phase of growth and development God ordained for me has been wonderful. Mary and I are becoming quite close. She's been showing me that from time to time it's helpful to wait on the LORD as He dusts off, clarifies the frame He's set for our lives. It was really quite recently that I caught a glimpse of His all-encompassing and all-sufficient glory and grace.
You see, we (my Honey and me) are not just facing a mix of sunny and gray days. We're looking at a host of frame-revising days with barely any pixel count at all. We're sexagenarians - and if you know what that means, you're probably peers. :-) God in His infinite wisdom and tender mercies has decided to move us across the ocean. With barely a month's leeway we will be relocating to Prague, the capital of the Czech Republic.
It's not really an out-of-the-blue relocation. We've been serving throughout Europe for more than 25 years. Our Master has just decided to lead us to a new base of operations. It's all the related elements that are making our heads spin. I seem to have gone from routine, Martha friendly days to extraordinary, Mary needed ones.
Suddenly my life is filled with circumstances I have no chance of smoothing out and questions I simply cannot answer. What do I take? What do I leave? Where will we live? How will communicate? What will my days look like? Oh, what about all the visa paperwork? If I release Martha into that maelstrom her rushing to and fro will simply swamp the boat.
So this is the future my Father saw and was lovingly making provision for in my life!
My Martha side would never have been able to handle the massive size and wide diversity of such a challenge. Her circuits would have overloaded and spilled out in ugliness on those around me. Instead Mary has come to the forefront to exert her presence. She knows her Sovereign and trusts His omniscient, omnipotent hand. Her peaceful seat at His feet causes my spirit to rest in His faithfulness. What a Savior!
I pray the Lord will cause me to remember the glimpses of Truth He's uncovering for me. Whether routine or earth-shaking my days are wrapped up in Him. Whether there's any hint at all of what's ahead or not I need to look to Him. May each of us intentionally seek His ways and unapologetically walk in them.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out before us. Hebrews 12:1
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